'You take away, I feel the same, all these promises, you promised only pain...'

So Niickiey IM’ed me the other night and actually talked to me for like 2.5 hours until I had to go home at 6 a.m. It was mostly small-talk. Nothing groundbreaking, or revealing about why she left, and certainly not an apology. Just small talk about her new phone, my family, my vacation, etc. She did ask me about my love life, which pissed me off a bit, but I just told her it was good. She was surprised, and asked if I really had one, and I told her I was interested in someone but that it hadn’t gone anywhere yet because she just started working here, lol. People were saying I should’ve said that I was seeing someone, but I think she would’ve known that was a lie right off the bat, seeing as I’d only been back a few weeks, and seeing as I’d never had a girlfriend before Niickiey, which she knew.

So anyways, tonight I hadn’t sat down for even 15 minutes before she IM’ed me again. The convo was longer than this but I cut out most of the small-talk.

I’ve put comments on some lines in green.

[01:35] Niickiey: I'm bored
[01:35] John: same
[01:35] John: why aren't you sleeping? Not tired yet?
[01:36] Niickiey: Nope
[01:36] Niickiey: I slept all day
[01:36] John: ah
[01:36] John: I got like 4 hours of sleep
[01:37] Niickiey: I didn't have to wake up and I let corey take my car to work so I slept in his bed all day then woke up to watch 3 movies
[01:37] John: corey?
[01:38] Niickiey: My boyfriend
[01:39] John: ah
[01:39] Niickiey: I thought u new this (she’s got to be shitting me… Sam and Alicia both think she’s just saying this to make me jealous)
[01:39] John: how would I know when you left me and never said a thing for over 2 months...
[01:47] John: you still there?
[01:51] Niickiey: Ya
[01:51] John: k
[01:51] Niickiey: Sorry I was myspacin it
[01:51] John:
[01:56] Niickiey: So...
[01:56] John: so
[01:56] John: what happened
[01:56] Niickiey: With?
[01:56] John: us
[01:57] John: one day we're going to sedona and the next you don't exist... why?
[01:57] Niickiey: Brb
[01:58] John: k
[02:00] Niickiey: I'm back corey woke up
[02:00] John: k
[02:01] Niickiey: The way u acted in sedona really just made me want to stay away for a while (bullshit. She’s saying this because I provided it as the reason months ago)
[02:01] John: Why didn't you just talk to me about it?
[02:02] Niickiey: Because I knew what the out come would be either way
[02:02] John: That's fine, but you should at least have told me
[02:03] Niickiey: I know but I had someone who wouldn't even let me talk to u
[02:03] John: who, and why?
[02:05] Niickiey: I can't say who and because that person didn't like who I had become and didn't like me being around you
[02:06] John: Alicia? Why couldn't you say who. It's not like she's there. Who would you have become by being with me? How am I a bad influence in any way?
[02:06] Niickiey: And I didn't say alicia
[02:06] John: I know. I was asking
[02:07] Niickiey: And she is here but no it wasn't her
[02:07] John: it has to either be her, or one of your parents
[02:08] Niickiey: I told u I'm not going to say who
[02:08] Niickiey: Its in the past
[02:08] Niickiey: U can't change the past
[02:08] John: I don't understand why. I'm not going to confront them about it or anything. I may not be able to change the past, but I can try to learn from it.
[02:12] John: I honestly can't understand what someone would have against me... it makes no sense.
[02:14] Niickiey: I don't know what to tell you
[02:15] John: the truth
[02:15] Niickiey: Other than I'm sorry
[02:15] John: that's a start
[02:19] Niickiey: And that's all I can really say
[02:20] Niickiey: So next subject
[02:20] John: I don't understand why you can't just tell me. It's not like I'm ever going to see them again or anything. I just want to understand what happened. I already feel a hell of a lot better now that you've said all this.
[02:22] Niickiey: Don't u hate when someone puts the toilet paper on wrong!?!?
[02:26] John: You can't possibly expect to get in a relationship and not have complications. Why you would leave after the first one makes absolutely no sense, and honestly, I have the feeling that even if I'd never said anything that night, that everything still would've happened as it did; but what I said just provides a convenient excuse to use in the place of the real one which you don't want to talk about. Whether that's true or not, only you can say; but it's awfully convenient that you use the exact same reason that I tried to use to get you to talk to me about what happened in the first place. Now I don't mind talking to you casually like this, and if you want to continue to talk to me then that's fine, but this is something that needs to be dealt with first. You can't just sweep it under the rug and ignore it. Even if you can, I can't. I don't possess or lack whatever quality it is that allows you to do that so easily.
[02:29] John: and yes, I do hate when someone puts on the toilet paper wrong... but I think everyone thinks they're putting it on right
[02:31] Niickiey: Once again, its done and over with! I don't understand y u keep bringing it up. I told u y I stopped talking to you and you wanting to know who was part of it shows a kid side of you wanting to know who doesn't like you. And I won't tell u who for the sake of their privacy. And if u can't respect that then I guess ur sol
[02:32] John: It's part of telling the truth Niickiey...
[02:33] John: and I'm not even talking about telling me who it was
[02:33] John: well I am, cause I think that part's true... but that's only part of it
[02:34] John: Why are you talking to me now if you don't want anything to do with me, and if this person doesn't want you to talk to me so much? Clearly you're willing to follow their advice, so why would you continue to text me, and IM me now?
[02:35] Niickiey: Because I don't talk to those people anymore.
[02:36] John: Why would their opinion matter so much to you if you don't even talk to them anymore?
[02:36] John: And how would they know about me? The only people that knew me were Alicia and your parents
[02:38] John: Why would you need to protect someone's privacy who I don't even know?
[02:38] Niickiey: Nvm (caught! lol)
[02:38] Niickiey: I'm lost
[02:38] Niickiey: I'm going to take a nap
[02:38] Niickiey: Bbl
[02:39] John: You're lost? Think about how I feel...
[02:40] John: I'm going to go on break.
[02:40] Niickiey: Okie dokie
[03:04] John: back
[03:04] John: you still awake? (no response ever came)

So, even though it’s highly likely that most of what she said is bullshit, I think some of it is true, namely the stuff about ‘someone’ not liking “who she’d become when she was with me”, though how they would know that without even knowing me is beyond my comprehension. I honestly think her best friend Alicia simply didn’t like me. I got the impression more than once, and if Niickiey listened to anyone’s opinion, it’d be hers. Plus, her parents liked me. That or they did an amazing job of hiding their dislike by continually inviting me over for dinner and her dad’s birthday, etc. Her mom even taught me how to open a bottle of wine. I think it was a good bonding experience, lol j/k. Now besides wanting to know the whole truth; I’d really like to know what made her think I knew she had a boyfriend, who may or may not actually exist in the first place.