Ok, this is probably the longest blog I've ever written, and you might want to make sure you have some time on your hands before sitting down to read it. This entry is a little different than the the past ones I've written. It's about a girl I was seeing for a couple months at the end of last year. It is
not about the girl discussed in the last few blog entries. I'd never mentioned this girl in a blog until now because at the time, I didn't want to jinx it, and partially for fear of it being discovered, though I think that fear was a little unfounded. Anyways...
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Around November of last year, a girl named Brittany contacted me through MySpace saying she had seen my page and thought I looked like a cool guy, and was just saying hello. I thanked her for stopping by and said that I couldn't view her page because it was set to private. She added me as her friend, and we messaged each other quite a bit for the next few hours. I ended up cutting it short though, as I had to sleep, and I told her that we shouldn't burn each other out on the first day of meeting each other, and she agreed.
So the next day we were back at it, and we really seemed to hit it off, and had a lot in common. Eventually she asked me when we were going to hang out, and I was caught a bit off guard, but I told her whenever. The next day she asked again, and eventually we made plans to hang out that Saturday.
Date #1So Saturday came, and we went to dinner. She happened to be near my place, so we decided to go up near the Arrowhead area to eat. Originally I'd wanted to go to The Cheesecake Factory, but when I got there, the line was insanely long, and when I asked, I was told there was an hour and a half wait for a table.
I ran over to The Elephant Bar next door, and was in luck. Only a 15 minute wait. Dinner seemed to go well. There was never long periods of silence or anything, and the food was good.
Date #2I called her that Sunday evening to see how her day went and she asked if I wanted to do something Monday. So Monday came, and we ended up going to dinner again. She'd asked if her sister and sister's boyfriend could join us, which I was surprised again, but said sure. They didn't come, as the boyfriend wanted to stay home, but that was fine with me. The less people around, the more comfortable I am, unless they're people I know.
This time we went closer to where she lives (Goodyear), to Macayo's, a decent mexican restaurant. The food was good, but there's not much mexican food I won't love, so take my opinion with a grain of salt =P. She looked exceptionally cute that night. She was dressed more casual than the last time, and had her hair pulled back behind her ears, and a little bit in the back was pulled and tied with a rubber band into a little pony tail. She'd done that because she drove her motorcycle there, and didn't want to mess up her hair.
While we were eating, she invited me to go to her sister's 23'rd birthday that Wednesday. As I said before, I'm not real comfortable around lots of people I don't know, and I think I told her that I'd go, but not sure how social I'd be, but she said I could at least keep her company, which is all I wanted to do anyways.
So things seemed to be going really good, if not a little on the fast side. She seemed a bit aggressive, which, as long as it's not out of desperation (doesn't seem like it at all, she's got no reason to be) is just fine with me, as it takes some of the pressure off me having to take the initiative for everything. She turned 20 on the 2nd of January, so she was kind of young, but I had no problem with that
. She had recently bought a Kawasaki Ninja 250cc, which is pretty damn hot. Got to love chicks on sport bikes. She's quite good looking. She has some pics on MySpace (
pic - She's on the right, her sister Heather on the left), but they're a few months old I think, and her hair is a different color now (brown, used to be really red) and she looks even better in person.
Some negative things that I'm normally turned off by is that she has a tongue and lip piercing, and she smokes, but I was willing to look past those things.
The Birthday PartyThe birthday party went pretty much as I thought it would. I went over to her apartment early to meet her before the party. It was a pretty nice complex. It's basically a bunch of single story apartments, surrounded by lots and lots of trees and bushes, etc. At night it seemed like I was walking around in a village in the jungle or something. Anyways, after I got there, I waited for her to finish getting ready. Her sister was there also. It's actually her sisters apartment. Brittany had moved down from Colorado back in June or July because of troubles with her ex-boyfriend, and moved in with her sister.
So we went to the place where the party was going to be. I forget the name of the restaurant at the moment... We stopped in at Safeway first and bought some balloons. We stood outside the restaurant and talked for a while until her parents showed up, and we talked with them until her sister and sister's boyfriend showed up, as well as other people that were coming.
The food was pretty good. I forget what I ordered, probably whatever kind of Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo they had. As usual, I was quiet most of the time, though occasionally I would talk to her parents about various things. They both seemed really cool, very laid back, which made it a lot easier to talk to them. I didn't even talk to Brittany much while we were there. Just sort of hung out. Near the end she could tell I was bored, and started tapping my leg with her foot and smiling. I just smiled back.
Finally we left, as I had to work that night, and we'd come in her car, so she had to drive me back to her apartment. We talked the whole way back about her parents and sister, and probably some other stuff I can't remember. She tried to apologize for me not having fun, but I told her I wanted to be there, which was true. I wasn't there to have fun. I knew before I went that it probably wasn't going to be. I was there because she invited me, and I wanted to be with her. When she hugged me, she put her arms around my neck. I'd never been hugged like that before, but I liked it quite a bit.
After that, I went on vacation to Washington and Montana for Thanksgiving. Although I called her twice while on vacation, I never got a call back, and as a typical guy, started questioning myself about where I went wrong, why wasn't she calling, etc. All these worries were put to rest as soon as I got back though, as less than an hour after I got home I got a text asking when I'd be back home so she could see me again. It was an extremely good feeling to feel wanted, even if only in the slightest amount.
Pottery, Cheesecake, and the MayansI don't think we saw each other for at least another week, possibly two, it's too far back now to remember how long it was. Eventually though, I'd been invited to a sort of open house thing my supervisor was having. She does pottery as a hobby, and sells it along with other people she knows. I'd originally thought it was a kind of party, like a Tupperware party or something, but it was more like, as I said above, an open house, with a bunch of pottery on display for sale, and you could watch how they make it, and walk around the shop, etc.
Anyways, I invited Brittany to come with me, at the suggestion of my supervisor (Jill), and to my surprise she actually said she'd go. I kept thinking that when the day finally came, she'd eventually cancel, but thankfully that wasn't the case. When we got there it was pretty void of people, other than those actually selling the pottery, and Jill. She showed us around, and talked about the various tools and processes that goes into making the pottery, as well as made a vase on the wheel.
We were there for about half an hour, and it didn't seem like Brittany was having a good as she hadn't said a word since we arrived, but when I asked her if she was ready to leave, she said no. She seemed to open up after that, talking to Jill a little bit about various things, mostly off the subject of pottery. After being there about an hour or so, I asked her if she wanted to grab something to eat, and she said she did. I'd originally asked my friend Mike earlier in the day, if he and Tiffany (his g/f) might want to have dinner with us, but when I called him up, he said they were already back at his house, so they wouldn't be able to make it.
We went back to The Cheesecake Factory, and this time there wasn't nearly the time to wait as before. I think we were seated almost immediately. We talked for a while while waiting for our food, and while eating, and after a while I guess I was silent long enough that she asked if I was thinking. I told her I was always thinking, and she replied something like "So, fill me in!". Of course I wasn't going to fill her in, because all I'd been thinking about since Macayo's a few weeks before was about how much I wanted to kiss her, and whether or not she was in to me or not; so I just smiled.
As we were finishing dinner, I thought about how much I didn't want to take her home just yet, so I asked if she might want to see a movie. She did, so we left and went to Harkins down the street. We were looking at what was playing when she asked me what I wanted to see. I mentioned that I kind of wanted to see "Apocalypto", because I love Braveheart, and Mel Gibson directed it. Immediately she says "ok, lets see that" before I could even look at what else was playing. I'm not even sure how long the movie was, but judging by Braveheart's length, it probably wasn't short.
While we were watching the movie, I kept thinking about whether or not I should hold her hand or something, but being the nervous wreck that I am, I kept convincing myself that she'd pull away, and the rest of the night would be awkward. So instead, we just sat there watching the movie, which wasn't nearly as good as Braveheart, but worth watching. It's definitely not a date movie though, and after a pretty good section of violence, I made a comment about what a great movie I'd brought her to
So, after the movie, I drove her home, and walked her to her apartment. We hugged, and said goodbye, and afterwards I kicked myself for not trying to kiss her.
I didn't see or hear from her again for yet another two weeks, as the next weekend was my vacation with Mike and Tiffany to Disneyland, during which time I bought her a charm bracelet, and ordered her Christmas present from
Build-a-bear.com. When I got back, she wanted me to come over Christmas night, but she ended up falling asleep at her parents, so I went over there two days later.
John Grows Balls, Albeit Tiny OnesSo I went over there to give her the bracelet and her Christmas gift, which she loved. She told me to pick out a movie to watch, so I picked "The Fifth Element", because it's a bad ass movie, and I've known girls to enjoy it quite a bit as well. After that was over, we were just watching an old school James Bond movie on TV.
I'd really been stressing myself the last couple weeks about wanting to kiss her, and for what seemed like an hour or so, I kept telling myself "ask her, ask her, ask her" etc, and while I was trying to convince myself to ask her, shit kept happening to prevent it, like she'd get up off the couch, or answer her phone, or the cat would jump up, and it was so frustrating, and then, of all things, she gets up to go have a cigarette, and that really sucked.
Finally I got up the nerve and asked if I could kiss her, and she said yes
. So I kiss her, and we kissed for a while, and to me, she didn't seem to want to stop, so i didn't
. I guess I was smiling a lot while we were kissing, and she asked if I was going to keep smiling the rest of the night, and I said "probably".
Eventually we stopped for a second and she was like "Now how long have you wanted to do that" and I was like "quite a while."
She asked if she made me nervous, and I told her that I'm always nervous. She said I really didn't have anything to be nervous about at all. She asked me why I was nervous, and I told her because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, so I told her she was the first girl I'd ever kissed, and she was kind of surprised by that, and asked why. I told her it was probably mostly because of low self-esteem I guess. I asked her if she had been starting to think I'd never kiss her, and she said a little. Then she asked me if I thought that she would've said no, and I was like "a little"
.
I told her I wasn't sure if she was even interested because she would say things like "we should hang out more" and then I wouldn't hear from her for two weeks. She apologized for that, saying that she has a hard time calling people for some reason (which I do to) and some days she gets home from work and has a ton of missed calls and she just doesn't want to deal with calling everyone back. She kept telling me she was worried I was going to get sick because she's been sick for the last couple weeks, and I told her I didn't care, it'd be worth it. So then we just laid on the couch for a long time holding each other and talking occasionally, kissing some more. Good times.
She had to go eat dinner with a friend around 5, so when she went out to go warm up her bike, I went out with her to leave. She asked if I could come back the next day, and I said I would, trying hard to keep from showing my excitement. So we hugged and kissed goodbye, and like clockwork, as soon as I get in my car, Dennis is calling my phone, so I answer and tell him how things went, and he got all excited and shit, lol.
The Beginning of the EndWell, the next day didn't quite go as planned. Brittany had to go pick up her sister and her sister's car, because it'd been in the shop for a week. We were going to try and see each other afterwards, but it took longer than she thought, and she said we probably wouldn't see each other that night, but she'd have a little bit of time tomorrow.
The next day didn't go any better. I texted her when I woke up, saying I'd be over in an hour, and she said that was fine, but that she wouldn't have much time as she had a nail appointment at 2, and was supposed to have dinner with a friend at 5. So I said maybe we should wait until the next day, and she said that would be good, but she wanted to stop by and pick up her hard drive.
I had the hard drive to try and get the pictures off of it so she could reinstall Windows, as it had crashed a week before. I'd told her I could get the pics off, which she'd previously thought would be lost. Well, when I took it back to my place and hooked it up, I began to smell burning, and all of a sudden a small flame came off the PCB, and I immediately unplugged it. So much for the pics. So now I felt like shit, so I went to Fry's Electronics and bought a brand new 300GB drive to replace it. (The original was 80GB). I still felt like shit because I never got the pics, and now I looked like I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
So I told her that was cool, and gave her directions to my place, and immediately began cleaning the hell out of my apartment. It wasn't so much dirty as it was just messy. Mostly just tons of boxes and shit everywhere from Christmas, and things I'd bought the last six months, etc. I didn't even know if she was going to come in or not, but I wasn't going to take that chance, and I'd been meaning to clean it for the longest time anyways.
So roughly 3 or 4 hours later, she came by, and I met her outside, as the new drive was still in my car. After I gave it to her, I realized that the mounting plate was still on her old drive, which was in my apartment. I told her I had to go grab it, and she asked if I wanted her to come. I shrugged my shoulders and said "I don't care", and turned to walk to my apartment (stupid decision #1). While walking to my place, I was walking kind of fast, and probably well ahead of her, without saying a word (stupid decision #2). When we got there, I just walked inside and went to my bedroom to grab the drive. She waited out in the living room, and I handed it to her, and said I'd see her later. She paused for a second at the top of the stairs and reached her hand out to me, motioning to come over. So I gave her a hug, and she left.
As of this posting, that was the last time I saw her. I tried to see her on New Years Eve, but she messaged me back saying that she wasn't in the mood, that she was having problems with her sister, which I took to mean that her sister was upset because she wouldn't be with her boyfriend for New Years, since they'd had a big fight a few days before. I got kind of upset, and replied back "it's New Years...", whining like a little kid not getting his way (stupid decision #3). She replied back simply "I know".
Her birthday was on the 2nd, and I'd been out with a friend the night before, and didn't end up getting home until 5. She gets up at 5 to go to work, so I texted her "Happy Birthday". Later that day I called to say it in person, but got her voicemail. I left a message saying happy birthday, and apologized for being a little selfish the other night for not thinking of her sister. A co-worker later pointed out that her sister is an adult, and should act like one instead of bringing down Brittany's New Year as well, which is true, but I was still being selfish.
I never received a return phonecall, and didn't hear from her for over a week until I finally sent her a message on MySpace, inviting her to go up north to play in the snow with some friends and myself that Saturday, and if she couldn't make that, I was thinking about checking out Kartchner Caverns, which is a cave system a couple hours south of Phoenix on Sunday or Monday (MLK day). She replied back saying her friend had a race on Saturday, and she had to work Monday, so she didn't want to make plans and have to cancel on me. I wasn't real happy with that answer, having not seen her in over two weeks already. I replied that I was reserving her next weekend before she could make plans, and she then said that she wouldn't even have a free weekend for two weeks.
I then text messaged her to call me after she got off work. Initially she replied that she would, but then a few minutes later another text came that said she was going to be busy after work. Now I was really starting to get frustrated, as it seemed that regardless of how much I tried, she was coming up with excuses for not doing being able to call or hang out. I texted back that I was sure she could find 5 minutes of time, to which she replied "Why only 5 minutes?"? WTF? Didn't she just imply that she didn't have any time to call me at all? I replied that I was looking for at 'least' 5 minutes, since it seemed like the more I got to know her, the less time she had available. She replied with "Are you mad?". I suppose I may have been a little, but it was out of frustration,
Well I just got back from a six day vacation in San Diego yesterday. Had an excellent time while I was there. Most of the time there we just relaxed by the pool, but we took a little time out to drive around a bit and took some pictures which you can see here. We stayed at Matt's uncle's house in Rancho Sante Fe, which is just north of San Diego, and is a really high-dollar area as far as mortgage rates go. Matt and Ketti were watching it for him for a few weeks while he was on vacation in Europe with his family.
I'd only be wanting what's best for us and our kids. I will be the best mother and you will be the best father.
